50+ Crazy And Useless Inventions From The Past You Won’t Believe Existed

Hospitals would be able to use this to mark newborn babies with their initials in order to avoid any switched-at-birth scandals.

A man at a shipping exhibition in Olympia, London, demonstrating the ''Laryngaphone, '' a noise-excluding telephone which only transmits vibrations from the vocal chords when the microphone is placed against the throat or cheek. For the man who wants to annoy both his wife and his mistress.

In 1938, the world’s first wireless newspaper was sent from WOR radio station in New York City. In this photo, children are reading the children’s page of a Missouri paper.

Model Betty Dutter demonstrates how the spray nozzle is held on the new "Sun-Tan Lotion Dispenser" at the Annual Vending Machine Convention in Chicago on Jan. 19, 1949. A dime could get you a 30-second spray job.

A schoolboy sleeps in a desk that also folds out into a hammock.

This 1941 photo shows a model in a transparent "Lucite" rowboat, designed to see everything below the seat.

New back brush lets bather see just what she is up to..

Nothing will make you feel better when you’re suffering from a hangover than a mask that looks like this.

This handy robot shaving assistant definitely isn’t a horrific accident waiting to happen.

In the 50s, everyone smoked. In fact, they couldn’t smoke fast enough if this cigarette pack holder is any indication. Did the inventor of this fine contraption not know that excess nicotine causes violent vomiting, dizziness and severe headache?

A group of youngsters tied a bike tyre around the body as a swimming aid. Germany, 1925

Wooden bathing suits, supposed to make swimming a lot easier. Haquian, Washington, USA, 1929.

Stroller equipped with a radio, including antenna and loudspeaker, to keep the baby quiet; USA, 1921

A nanny supervising a baby suspended in a wire cage attached to the outside of a high tenement block window. The cages were distributed to members of the Chelsea Baby Club in London who have no gardens, or qualms about putting a child in a box dangling over a busy street.

Back in 1948, there was apparently nothing weird about riding across a lake on a motorized surfboard while wearing a nice suit and bowler hat and smoking a cigarette. Forget his lack of safety gear – inventor Joe Gilpin looks cool gliding along on the water.

President of Zeus Corp., Robert L. Stern, smoking a cigarette from his self-designed rainy day cigarette holder.

Inventor of a honey and vinegar mixture, called Honegar, Dr. DeForest C. Jarvis. Honegar was said to be a folk remedy for aches and pains, though it mainly sounds like a cure for lack of nausea.

Robot equipped with fast-draw invention shoots it out with live gunner. It's always easy to question the wisdom of giving a robot a gun, but also making him quick on the draw is just irresponsible.

A woman adjusts her stocking by the light of the Goodyear's illuminated tires. The tire is made from a single piece of synthetic rubber and is brightly lit by bulbs mounted inside the wheel rim.

You can carry it anywhere and everywhere. Like, office, public washrooms, even in public transport.

Inventor John H T Rinfret demonstrates his anti-bandit bag. To foil thieves the chain is pulled and the bottom of the case falls out so the contents are scattered over the floor. That'll stop those thieves from getting at the contents of your bag! No, wait. It won't.

American science fiction writer and founder of the Church of Scientology L. Ron Hubbard uses his Hubbard Electrometer to determine whether tomatoes experience pain, 1968. His work led him to the conclusion that tomatoes "scream when sliced."

This shower hood from 1970 has us baffled. Is it meant to keep your head dry while you shower? Or does it let you just wash your hair while your face stays dry?

A machine to measure the shape of your head. The machine consisted of 1,954 parts in a metal carrier with a continuous motor-driven belt inside a walnut cabinet containing statements about 32 mental faculties. These faculties were each rated 1 through 5, "deficient" to "very superior," so that there were 160 possible statements but an almost unlimited number of possible combinations.

In 1936, inventor R. Handl came up with the movable heel plate, but it wasn’t until 1996 that this concept revolutionized skating.

Piano especially designed for people confined to bedrest; Great Britain, 1935.

A pair of spectacles especially designed for reading in bed. England, 1936.

Electrically heated vest, developed for the traffic police in the United States, 1932. The power is supplied by electric contacts in the street.

A turntable linked to a film projector. It comes with single, dual and triple turntable. Designed by F.B.A. Prinsen, 1929.

This land-and-water bike can carry a load of 120 pounds; Paris, 1932.

Kind of shovel on a car. Purpose: reducing the number of casualties among pedestrians. Paris, 1924.

Plastic face protection from snowstorms. Canada, Montreal, 1939.

A wartime stroller equipped with gas protection; England, Hextable, 1938.

This could be helpful for single mothers dealing with what to do when the phone rings, your other child cries and someone knocks at the door while you're in the middle of bath time with the little one. Just strap 'em in and go about your business.

Swiss engineer M. Gerder is seen driving his "Motorwheel," a motorcycle with a wheel that runs on a rail placed inside a solid rubber tire.

Two men demonstrate a pipe called the "Double Ender" in New York, June 2, 1949.

The brush is constructed to fit a bald head's contour, with bristles for brushing hair and a felt pad to gently massage the scalp.

The bra claimed to develop and strengthen the bust and was designed to vibrate while the person wearing it was at work.The bra claimed to develop and strengthen the bust and was designed to vibrate while the person wearing it was at work.

Designed to be easily transported, these 1953 monopod seats could provide a quick and easy place to sit when on the go.

10-year-old named Marne Smith came up with an easy way to avoid a crick in your neck after lying outside for a tan.

Brushes on feet allow housewife to read while scrubbing floor

This crazy giant machine actualy used to cook turkey

From 1939 is this incredible and yet utterly pointless bicycle for the family complete with sewing machine and table for the good lady wife.

In 1963 the Cat-Mew Machine was invented in Japan, its purpose was to scare off rats and mice by emitting a meow sound throughout the day.

Sunbathing with a foldable reflector, The Netherlands, 1961

Charles L. Langs poses with his strapless, backless, wireless, support-less bras. His wife is justifiably dubious.

This M3 sub-machine gun with a curved barrel for shooting around corners. It's the perfect gun for the "shoot first, look where you're shooting later" kind of guy.

In the 1920s, Hugo Gernsback published a design for a creepy-looking helmet that blocks out sound and vision so someone can focus on their work.

This German audio-visual apparatus was designed to enhance the boom and flash of enemy artillery and, thus, help pinpoint gun positions.

This hat can store brush, combs and what fits in these mini-pockets.

Portable radio in a straw hat, made by an American inventor in 1931

According to the designer, the machine held enough water for three cups of coffee and can also be used for preparing soups, boiling eggs, or heating water for washing or shaving.