Bizarre and Useless Fitness Products from the 1970s that Will Make You Laugh

Remember those old photos of your parents in bellbottoms and platform shoes? Well, the 70s weren’t just a wild time for fashion – the fitness world was pretty out there too! Let’s take a trip back to a time when people tried some truly strange things to get in shape.

If you thought vibrating belts were weird, you’d be amazed by the vibrating exercise machines of the 70s. Imagine sitting on a vibrating chair or standing on a platform that shook your whole body.  People thought these vibrations would magically melt away fat, but they were probably just good for a laugh.

These wacky products might make us laugh now, but they show how desperate people were to find a quick fix for fitness. Luckily, we’ve come a long way since then. So, next time you see an infomercial for a weird workout gadget, remember the crazy contraptions of the 70s and be thankful for modern gyms and workout routines!

#1 The kinetic energy derived from the rowing motion is transmitted across a thin wire to a vibrating diamond shaped object which induces an intense orgasm for the woman holding it.

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#2 Speaking of incentives for women. This one comes with a vibrator.

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#3 I’m going to hazard a guess that squeezing plastic won’t actually give you bigger breasts. I’m also going to go out on a limb and say that cream smudged on a chin strap won’t rid you of neck fat. No need to reimburse me for the money I just saved you.

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#4 When the Prone-Cycle and Economy Slender Bender won’t get the job done, there’s always option #4 – The Sears Diet Plan.

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#5

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#6 The stationary bike has become famous for its propensity to quickly transition from workout machine to clothes hanger.

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#7 How long will it take humanity to realize that sweat is not fat? It would be great if we perspired fat (although, our clothes would get rather nasty). But we don’t. What will it take for mankind to understand this concept?

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#8 The so-called “air jeans”, “sauna suits” and “trim jeans” were surprisingly popular back in the day. Many will recall the Monty Python sketch “Trim Jean Theater”.

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#9 This “leg beauty kit” is incomprehensibly stupid.

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#10 Also in the interest of fairness, equipment is sold today which is every bit as ridiculous.

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#11 I can’t imagine it was effective at anything except for inspiring delight among male observers.

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#12 I miss the multiple exposure technique commonly used to use to illustrate how something works.

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#13 That “something extra” has turned this workout cycle into a wild erotic ride.

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#14 You may feel lighter with a Dynatone, but it’s only because your wallet is now empty.

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#15 Ladies, if you’re at a gym and a strange man parks his workout bike inches away and stares unblinkingly into your eyes, do not play nice.

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#16 With these old contraptions, sometimes it’s hard to tell if we’re looking at a fitness product advert or a photo shoot for a bondage fetish magazine.

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#17 Given the look of the Tone-O-Matic along with the sauna shorts, scary chin strap, and salon wrap, we can safely assume people weren’t as self-conscious in the 1970s.

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#18

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